Ramlal's efforts to become a minister...!

There is a talk of possible reshuffling of cabinet ministers after the last month’s highly charged drama of Mamta withdrawing ministers and subsequently Karunanidhi refusing to take any cabinet berths after not-so-humble treatment meted out to Raja and Kanimozhi in last few months.

Rahul has been meeting PM frequently and media is speculating what would be transpiring in these meetings. For the record, Rahul has been making some sporadic statements like ‘I am now ready for the bigger role in government’, or something like ‘I am now ready to more responsibility in the party’ etc. No one really knows what these statements mean, because there is no apparent change in his functioning style ever since he joined politics. He keeps silent in the parliament whenever he attends it, he speaks about another issue when something else is happening somewhere etc. His recent remarks that 7 out of 10 Punjabi youth are drug addicts is as comic in nature as the one where he mentioned after the Delhi high court blast that our intelligence agencies are successful in averting 99% of the bomb blasts.  

Salman Khurshid had also turned to be an embarrassment for Congress when all the wrong doings of a trust managed by him for the welfare of physically handicapped has been ripped apart by the media with new evidences shown to people every day actively by all the news channels. Amidst this chaos, he cancelled his Haj trip, which further fuelled speculation about his continuance in the government. His hostile reactions caused him much more damage that the wrong doing itself.

Among the other existing ministers likely to be shown door are SriPrakash Jaiswal for his alleged role in Coal scam plus ‘old-wife-less-fun’ remark and Beni Prasad Varma who candidly opined that a person of Salman Khurshid’s stature cannot do a scam of paltry sum of Rs. 71 Lakhs. He would have taken it seriously, if the scam was worth Rs. 71 Crores.

It was a difficult task for the congress to choose some new faces for cabinet with a clean image. The party managers searched the party cadres from top to bottom, but everyone seemed to have some charge of corruption against him. Then someone proposed why not to bring a new face, from outside congress? Many Bollywood producers also occasionally brought some new faces for their films to get a refreshing touch to the story.

So, the search began for finding a new face. One who had a clean record…

Ramlal came to know about this search and applied for becoming a minister in the UPA government. There was an interview scheduled to test Ramlal’s knowledge about politics and his style of functioning. On the date of interview, Ramlal wore the typical khadi Kurta Pyjama, a trademark style of all politicians and went to the UPA office for the interview.

Ahmed Patel, Sonia’s political advisor was taking the interviews.

Patel: So, Mr. Ramlal, why do you want to be a minister?

Ramlal: So that I can earn more money. There are too many scandals going on involving huge money. I thought I should also make some money, before the country goes bankrupt.

Patel: But that is not a noble idea…what do you want to do for the ‘aam admi’ of this country?

Ramlal: Nothing. The aam admi has learnt to survive without any political intervention for ages now. They should be disturbed only during elections for votes. They should be left alone during remaining period of 5 years.

Patel: How would you function? What is your style of functioning?

Ramlal: There are several high-profile luminaries in congress. I will emulate any one of them.

Patel: That is the key. We are looking for a fresh face with no adverse credentials and one who has a ‘different’ style of functioning. Can you do that?

Ramlal: Yes of course.

Patel: Ok, let me test your skills. If opposition party throws a corruption charge at you, what will be your reaction?

Ramlal: I will just smile and look sideways, with an expression on my face pitying the intelligence of people in front of me.

Patel: Sorry, you cannot do that. That is Chidambaram style.

Ramlal: Ok then, I will counter those charges with some obscure laws referring some weird clauses and sub-clauses to claim that these allegations are totally baseless and false.

Patel: Sorry, but it is Kapil Sibbal style.

Ramlal: Ok, I will start abusing and threatening the person. I will challenge him to prove the charges against me. I will challenge him to visit my constituency.

Patel: Sorry, that is Salman Khurshid style.

Ramlal: Ok, I will downplay the allegation and say that there is no scam at all. I will also say that people will forget it all soon.

Patel: Sorry, it is Sushil Kumar Shinde style.

Ramlal: Ok, I will just refuse to speak to the media and close my Facebook account.

Patel: Sorry, that is a sacred style reserved for nation’s son-in-law.

Ramlal: Ok, I will keep quiet whenever anyone asks me anything.

Patel: Sorry, that is Manmohan Singh style.

Ramlal was now agitated. For everything he said he would do, there was someone who was already doing that.

Finally he said, ‘Ok, I will not do corruption.’

Patel thought for some time and said, ‘Then you are disqualified. For being a Congress minister, you need to be expert in doing corruption. Choose any field of your liking. The examples of areas already covered recently are Spectrum allocation, Commonwealth Games, Building meant for army personnel, Irrigation, Coal, Space deals etc. You need to use your creativity to identify any field untapped so far.’

Ramlal could not think of any field left by the current bunch of ministers.

Ramlal came out of the interview with a heavy heart. He wondered that for becoming a minister, the essential qualification were no more education, experience or any skill set, but the ability to do corruption. He was surprised that when the biggest power grid failure happened in Independent India, with 600 million people remaining without power for hours, the power minister was immediately promoted as Home minister.

He felt that he was good as an ‘aam Admi’. He had the developed the resilience to withstand all the pains and still be hopeful of a brighter tomorrow.

Kejriwal vs Kejriwal

In Bollywood language, Kejriwal had delivered three movies last week.  The Robert Vadra movie was an all time block buster, the Salman Khurshid movie was a super hit and the Nitin Gadkari movie was flop. Why did Kejriwal release Nitin Gadkari movie when he had the material for another potential hit movie, that of Sharad Pawar and Supriya Sule? Was there any benefit of releasing a flop movie? Let us analyze the strange case of Kejriwal vs Kejriwal…!

Kejriwal – The trusted aid of Anna Hazare

Arvind Kejriwal had been one of the focal points of Anna Hazare movement ever since it came to limelight in 2010 - 2011. In every meeting of civil society, he occupied chair next to Anna Hazare. His media briefings were quite impressive, simple and clear to understand by a common man. He was considered as the strategy arm of Anna Hazare movement. Every decision taken by Anna Hazare was whetted by Kejriwal before any announcement was made.

The conflict with Anna Hazare

The movement took an unexpected turn when Kejriwal and his two associates had to break the fast after 10 days without apparent success. Even though Anna Hazare joined them later and fasted, the spotlight always remained on Kejriwal during those ten days. The movement ended with announcement of a political outfit to counter the callous and arrogant UPA government. It still remains a mystery whether or not Anna Hazare gave consent to that idea then. Publicly that was the start point for Anna Hazare and Kejriwal to part ways. Though Anna Hazare was a bit curt to Kejriwal in the initial few days after their separation, apparently he has now softened his stand.

Kejriwal – The politician

But this has taken Kejriwal on an uncharted territory. He had announced his decision to go ahead with a political party without adequate logistics or enough resources. There was no name for the party, not its ideology is published till date. It is not clear whether they would join with other parties if they don’t have the numbers to form a government on their own. If, yes, what would happen to the agenda of corruption? One thing is clear that they have great potential to cause damage to other parties even by sitting in opposition. The UPA can no longer challenge them on grounds of constitutional procedures and accuse them of showing disrespect to the established systems of governance in a democracy. He has to now continue marching on that route to maintain his authenticity in public domain. And his inexperience as a politician will start appearing soon.

Kejriwal vs Kejriwal

We are all aware of the strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Similarly, the real fight happening today is between the Activist Kejriwal and the Politician Kejriwal. Their objectives are different, their modus operandi to achieve respective objectives is different and their constraints are different. Unfortunately, they clash with each other very often. And Kejriwal-the-person may not be able to cope with this dual entity for long. He needs to choose one way, as it is practically impossible to ride both horses at same time like ‘son of sardar’.

Robert Vadra expose

Activist Kejriwal earned accolades for his exemplary courage and accurate homework to take on the Gandhi family with explicit proof. It put the UPA in a tight spot to the extent that Robert Vadra started appearing like ‘national embarrassment’. The case is still alive and is being doused with more fuel by the Ashok Khemka episode and the denial of Corporation bank to have provided any overdraft as mentioned in audited reports of Robert’s company. The case is so weak for the Gandhi family that it looks extremely difficult for them to come out clean in this case. He has scored full marks for this expose.

Salman Khurshid expose

Then came the Salman Khurshid case. This was in collaboration with Aaj Tak channel. They did most of the spade work while he only verified those facts with help of RTI and jumped into the game. Salman Khurshid has lost much of his aura and sheen after his undiplomatic outbursts during the press conference, openly threatening Kejriwal and hurriedly distributing some equipment among the handicapped people to make for the shortfall of last three years and create new evidence in his favor. If Salman Khurshid’s image and popularity has taken a beating after this expose, he himself is more responsible for that than Kejriwal.  Kejriwal again came out successful from this expose.

Nitin Gadkari expose

Here started Kejriwal’s problems. His next expose was going to be Nitin Gadkari. He created much hype about this expose through his associate Anjali Damania, unlike first two cases.  Unfortunately, many times in life, too much of hype about anything creates a sense of disappointment later, as whatever comes out after the real event seems to be below the imaginary expectations. This was prominently noted in recent past for the much hyped events like Ra One release, Rahul Gandhi’s UP campaign, Obama’s performance as President, Anna Hazare’s subsequent fasts after the famous August 2011 fast etc.

The much hyped expose by Arvind Kejriwal on Nitin Gadkari also falls under the same category. Unfortunately, this case was much weaker in substance than the earlier two cases. The case was further weakened immediately, due to a surprisingly proactive approach by the BJP top brass, who were ready to face any eventuality. While Robert Vadra never appeared before the camera even once to clarify his position and Salman Khurshid is becoming increasingly aggressive and cheap, the BJP has explained its position point by point on the expose with much dignity and humility.

Political compulsions of Kejriwal

Why did Kejriwal choose to expose Nitin Gadkari, when he had more solid material against Sharad Pawar and Supriya Sule? The reason is that the politician Kejriwal had an urgency to prove to the country that he is against Corruption and not against Congress. And to prove that point, he needed to cast some aspersions against BJP as well. Moreover, there was a growing perception in political class in recent months that BJP’s infighting has taken a toll in its position as a strong opposition. He needed to capitalize on that vacuum created by ineffective BJP. But unfortunately it boomeranged very badly on him, because in the process of proving BJP a corrupt party, he eroded his credentials as an activist who comes out with concrete evidence in every case. There are various unfounded theories doing rounds on Kejriwal’s expose of Nitin Gadkari. The prominent among them is that a section of BJP has used Kejriwal against growing stature of Gadkari within BJP.

The constraint of politician Kejriwal is that he cannot antagonize any political party beyond certain extent, since he does not know when he would require their help and in what context. Perhaps that was the reason why he chose to either hide or delay the Sharad Pawar expose. Or in a wild possibility again, Sharad Pawar has already ‘immunized’ himself from the activist Kejriwal by purchasing the politician Kejriwal. Sharad Pawar has demonstrated his expertise in such acts over last four decades.

The coming days are going to be difficult for Kejriwal-the-person when he would be required to reclaim his credibility. Now he faces competition from other activists like YP Singh, who are alleging him to be making selective exposes. He also called him a Hitler. Kejriwal needs to disprove this allegation on an urgent basis to win over the people’s faith in him.

He is now treading on a dangerous path and would pay heavy price for even silly mistakes. He is taking on the established politicians on their turf. His mass support is not yet proven in electoral success. We wish Kejriwal-the-person all the very best and hope that wisdom prevails on him in taking every single step.

With all his flaws, he is still the only person who has the desire and capability to bring a smile on the face of common man in India by fighting against corruption.

Robert Vadra's trial in court by Arvind Kejriwal...!

Since last one week, the news occupying the prime time debate on every news channel is about how Robert Vadra used his power in getting undue benefits from DLF. And similarly, how DLF got undue benefits from Haryana govt. in lieu of helping Robert Vadra.

There have been several views aired by various journalists, activists and politicians. Only the congress spokespersons have been vehemently disputing any wrong doing in this entire case, while everyone seemed to suggest at least an enquiry to bring the truth out.

A PIL has also been filed in Allahabad high court to allow some kind of investigation in this case. Let us assume that there is a trial carried out in court of law against Robert Vadra, fought by none other Arvind Kejriwal, the main person who brought this matter on national centre stage.

Arvind: ‘Mr. Robert, do you agree that you have purchased some assets from DLF at very low rates?’

Robert: ‘Yes, I do agree. I bought the assets at the rate at which they were sold to me by DLF. I too believe that they were at lesser rates than the market prices, however, I did not object to that, as it benefitted me personally.’

Arvind: ‘Did you obtain loans worth few Crores from DLF without any kind of surety?’

Robert: ‘Yes, I did take some loans for my business expansion.’

Arvind: ‘Did you not ask DLF, why they are providing you loans without any surety?’

Robert (Laughs): ‘Why should I be bothered if someone provides me a loan without surety? It is their problem.’

Arvind asks the judge permission to call DLF in the witness box.

Arvind: ‘Mr. DLF, did you sell some assets to Robert at very low prices?’

DLF: ‘Yes, we did.’

Arvind: ‘May we ask, why?’

DLF: ‘Our marketing and sales department keeps revising our product prices based on market conditions and competition in market. We do launch some promotional schemes from time to time. In one such scheme we sold some assets to Robert at low prices.’

Arvind: ‘But why only to Robert? Why you did not sell the assets to others at such throwaway prices?’

DLF: ‘It is our company, and we decide which schemes are offered to which of our customers. No one else should dictate to us, which schemes we offer to who.’

Arvind: ‘Did you give some loans to Robert without any surety?’

DLF: ’Yes, we offered loan to Robert as we wanted to promote the entrepreneur in him. Anyway, we had lot of surplus cash in our records. It is management decision how to use the surplus cash available with the company. No one can dictate to us whom should we give the loans and what kind of surety we should ask for disbursing these loans.’

Arvind: ‘Did you get some lands from Haryana govt. at very low rates?’

DLF: ‘Yes, we did buy some lands from Haryana govt. at rates lower than market price.’

Arvind: ’May I ask, how and why?’

DLF (Laughs): ‘How I got the lands at cheap price is not my problem. You should ask Haryana govt. for that. As regards why I bought the lands, I plan to develop this land by making new township there. It is my regular business to buy lands at cheap prices, develop them and sell at high prices to individual customers.’

Arvind asks the judge permission to bring Haryana Govt in witness box.

Arvind: ‘Did you sell lands at low prices to DLF?’

Haryana Govt: ‘Yes. We did sell some lands at cheap rates to DLF.’

Arvind: ‘Why?’

Haryana Govt: ‘The whole country has been reeling under inflation and price rises during last few months. The entire opposition has been pressurizing us to reduce prices. So, we thought of reducing prices.’

Arvind: ’But why did you sell the lands at cheap rates to DLF only? Why not others?’

Haryana Govt: ‘We started this scheme, but soon realized that if we sell the land at higher rates, we get more revenue, then the treasury will have more money and taxes can be reduced. So, to help the common man, we again increased the prices.’

Arvind was helpless. He asked the judge the permission to call UPA Ministers in witness box.

Arvind: ‘Why did you all defend Robert Vadra so strongly?’

UPA Minister: ‘See, Robert Vadra is an honest middle class businessman of this country. We will not allow any scandalous allegations by some miscreants to affect their image and reputation in this society. We are committed to protect the rights of every citizen of this country.’

Arvind looked even more helpless.

That night, god came in Arvind’s dreams. Arvind asked him, ‘Oh god, why are you allowing these thing to happen?’

God smiled and replied, ‘Dear Arvind, you are forgetting that you are living in Kaliyug…! Please learn to live like this.’

Arvind was not convinced. He asked, ‘Is there no solution to this?’

God said, ‘Yes, there is a solution. And that lies with the common man of this country. If every person of this country casts his vote consciously to the right candidate, definitely there will be a change.’

Arvind said, ‘And god, how do I get right candidates?’

God said, ‘You have already started a movement. It is very small movement right now. Please continue to awaken the sleeping people of this country. One day you will taste success.’ And god disappeared.

Arvind woke up. He had a big task in his hands.