Sonia worried about 2019 elections?

One day Rahul and Sonia were discussing about the future strategy of UPA.

Rahul Said, ‘Mamma, Can I become the Prime minister in 2014?’

Sonia said, ‘Yes of course my son. I will make you the Prime Minister of India in 2014.’

Rahul was satisfied at the answer. He asked, ‘How do you say that so confidently mamma? ’

Sonia said, ‘Rahul, I am not in politics for this long for nothing. I have planned every move such that you will become the PM in 2014.’

Rahul was excited to hear this. He wanted to know how this was going to happen.

Sonia said, ‘Look Rahul, Manmohan was your competitor number one all these days. But you need not worry about him anymore for two reasons. One, he has been so much discredited for allowing the scams to happen under his governance, that people have lost faith in him. And two, he has become very old now. His shelf life is now over. He is an expired product, which needs to be removed. So we shall retire him (dis)gracefully in 2014.’

Rahul looked thoughtful. He said, ‘Yes, mamma, that takes care of Manmohan. What about Pranab Mukharjee? He is the senior most leader of Congress.’

Sonia said, ‘Why do you think I have nominated him for the president? It is a game. If he wins, he becomes the President of India. And a President cannot aspire to become a Prime minister.  And by chance if he loses, his career is anyway finished because what is the political value of a person who has lost to Sangma? If he loses, he retires.’

Rahul asked, ‘But Mamma, are there any chances of Pranab losing these Presidential elections?’

Sonia said, ‘Rahul, these days the cricket has a lot of politics in it and the politics has almost become like a T20 game. Just like one or two good overs can change the game in a T20 match, one or two big parties changing sides can change the election results. But don’t worry; we have successfully broken all our opposition. We have separated Shiv Sena and JD (U) from NDA and vertically split the left parties. So chances of Pranab’s winning the elections are very high at this stage. Nevertheless in the context of our current discussions, whether he wins or loses, he is out of your way.’

Rahul was thrilled to see his prospect getting better. He suddenly remembered something and asked, ‘But Mamma, what about Chidambaram? What if he wants to become Prime minister?’

Sonia said, ‘Leave Chidambaram to Subramanyam Swami. He will ensure that there is always some case or other going on against Chidambaram which will keep him busy in trying to retain his seat rather than trying out any adventures. And also, Chidambaram has mastered the skill of committing frequent blunders which results in the opposition going after his blood every fortnight. So, he is not a serious contender according to me.’

Rahul was happier now. But he bitterly remembered his biggest defeat and Mulayam Singh’s biggest victory in UP recently. He said, ‘But what Mamma, if we get slightly lesser seats and SP gets more seats, will Mulayam Singh not try to use that to throw his hat in the ring?”

Sonia looked with admiration at Rahul. She said, ‘I am very Happy Rahul that you now understand a bit of politics. I have already an action plan for him. It is a five point plan, out of which two points have already been executed.’

Rahul wondered what these points were. He did not remember anything done recently to Mulayam Singh. He looked questioningly at Sonia.

Sonia said, ‘Rahul, you remember the much hyped drama of M+M few days back? They tried to unsettle me. What did they think of themselves? I ensured that Mulayam betrays Mamta so badly that she will never trust him in her life again. Secondly, our trusted soldier Rashid Alvi recently said that Mulayam is a secret agent of BJP. This has dented his image to some extent in the minds of unsure people. I shall play my balance three points at strategic time such that no party would come forward to support him for his prime minister ship in 2014, if at all such a situation arises.’

Rahul was overjoyed. He said, ‘But Mamma, I heard that Nitish Kumar is also dreaming about Prime minister ship?’

Sonia laughed and said, ‘True. He has done some development in Bihar and now on that basis he dreams of controlling the centre. He does not know that many people believe him to be a communal person. He will never get enough support in his cause.’

Rahul looked confused. He said, ‘But how? JD (U) is a secular party…’

Sonia said, ‘Rahul, if public memory is short, we shall refresh it at appropriate times. We shall prove Nitish to be communal on the basis that he was a union minister in Atal Bihari Vajpayee government when Babri Masjid was demolished and continued to be minister for well two years after the incident. If he was secular, he should have resigned. And secondly, he is running the state government in Bihar with support of BJP for second term now. How can such a person be ‘secular’ going by his own terminology?’

Rahul was surprised at this logic. But the word communal suddenly reminded him of Narendra Modi. He said, ‘But Mamma, many people predict that it would be me versus Narendra Modi in 2014. What about that? I heard that even US research predicts that theory…!’

Sonia looked slightly worried for the first time in entire discussion. She said, ‘Rahul, Narendra Modi is your only and biggest competitor. Ironically, he is BJP’s biggest strength and also the biggest weakness. However, don’t worry. If he is projected to be the Prime Minister by NDA, then all the minority votes will automatically come to us on a platter. In fact I am planting my secret agents in NDA to push for his candidature. That will break out some more NDA partners like Nitish Kumar. And his biggest challenge shall be not to get support from outsiders but from within BJP itself…’

Rahul looked questioningly at Sonia.

She said, ‘BJP is today a party of all second level leaders wanting to become the first level leaders. Atal Bihari Vajpayee has retired and Advani has become old. He has lost his charisma. There is no national level leader who can appeal to the masses. In fact, our second term is surviving still only because of BJP. If they were slightly stronger, we would have been thrown out of the government long back. They will have to get their act together quickly or else they shall be out. And the way they are currently behaving, it seems unlikely. That is why I am more worried about 2019 elections than 2014 election.’

Rahul looked admiringly at Sonia. He said, ‘You are so smart mamma…’

Sonia said, ‘Yes Rahul, I am trying my best for you, but you have to do your homework before that. I was please with you last week when you recited the Jana Gana Mana and Vande Mataram without stopping even once and without looking at your book.  ‘

Rahul said, ‘Yes mamma. I shall slog more than what I did in UP elections.’

Sonia said, ‘Good. Now let us revise our last week’s lessons. Name the seven North East states.’

Rahul started thinking. He had learnt them last week on a map. He tried hard in his mind to remember the names.

Sonia said, ‘What happened, you forgot?’

Rahul said, ‘One small doubt Mamma, North East is the top right of the map, right?’

Sonia sighed.

She had a tough task before her to fulfill her ambition of making her son the Prime Minister and continuing the endangered Nehru Gandhi legacy in India, which is facing the threat of extinction.

Mumbai under attack...!

Mumbai was under attack earlier also. On 26 July 2005 most parts of Mumbai were submerged under water. That was nature’s fury. On several occasions there were bomb blasts planted by terrorists which devastated the streets of Mumbai. That was man-made fury. It is still not clear whether the recent fire in Mantralaya, the power centre of Maharashtra, was an accident or man-made fury.

However this incident raises some serious questions about the safety standards of the buildings in Mumbai. The chief minister had said after the incident that a fire drill is conducted every 15 days in Mantralaya. Then why there were some occupants of the building trying to get down through windows and drain pipelines? That questions the quality of fire drill being conducted, if at all. It looks like the drills are conducted only for records purposes and no one took them seriously ever.

What is surprising is also the fact that the fire which apparently started on 4^th floor on left wing of Mantralaya spread laterally first and not vertically, thereby engulfing the entire upper floors. And the latest revelations by the Dy. Chief Minister that he is ‘baffled’ that his office was burnt down completely while the Chief Minister’s office was unscathed, is truly baffling. Going by the media, which immediately cried foul suggesting that this was an act of sabotage to destroy critical evidence in illegal land deals, is it not the CM who should question this rare co-incidence that only the Dy. CM’s office is destroyed in the fire? This definitely guides the people into believing that there was indeed some foul play in the entire episode.

The credibility of the Maharashtra government had been in question ever since the Adarsh scan broke out few months back. Some important files related to the case were reportedly stolen from highly protected zones in a very suspicious manner. It was followed by allegations of several land scams by powerful politicians from the ruling alliance. The allegations are made for misappropriating hundreds of acres of land valuing at thousands of Crores.

The optimists may still believe that there is no sabotage involved here. Because our beloved politicians have so far not stooped so low, so as to brazenly destroy everything endangering the lives of all employees working there. This was the meanest thing they could do. Two lives have been reported lost in this incident so far. Surely, our politicians cannot do this, however bad they become.

But unfortunately, the odds are heavily stacked against them. The circumstances and the past events do precious little to come in their support. There is bound to be a growing opinion among masses that this was a case of sabotage to bail out their futures, which otherwise looked bleak under the scams. They are in an unenviable situation where they shall be considered guilty till they are proved innocent and not otherwise.

Whenever the underworld attacks Mumbai, some innocent lives are lost. The politicians are attacking Mumbai every moment taking the hard earned money of the taxpayers. The politicians have turned themselves into white collared terrorists.

It remains to be seen whether the truth will ever come out about this fire incident. It probably will not. We only hope that the political class across the country does not learn a new lesson in escaping from their respective allegations.

Ramlal in Rashtrapati Bhavan...!

Ramlal heard that presidential elections were happening soon and that the names of various people were being projected for becoming the next president of India. He wondered who was the current president, as he never heard anything about the existing president. Later on he learnt that it was an old lady, who travelled extensively to different countries with her relatives and friends during last 5 years.

He was curious to know what the president did in his office, as he was under the impression that they don’t have much work to do. He remembered that one of his old friends, Shamlal was working as the supervisor of all staff in Rashtrapati Bhavan. He went to meet him.

As he had informed in advance about his visit, he was not stopped at the gate. As soon as he entered the premises, Ramlal thought that it was a big museum or something, seeing the big structure built in an old fashioned way.

He met Shamlal in his office. They exchanged pleasantries as they were meeting after a long time.

Ramlal asked, ‘Shamlal, I heard that the term of current president is expiring soon. So, how do you feel? Do you miss her much?’

Shamlal said, ‘See Ramlal, frankly speaking we do not miss her much, because we were not used to serving her much. She was most of the time travelling abroad you know, with all her family and friends. Yes, all our staff now recognizes her 73 relatives and 138 family friends who used to travel with her.’

Ramlal said, ‘Oh I see. I also heard that there used to be an old gentleman before her…’

Shamlal said, ‘Yes, he was probably the only gentleman in true sense to have lived here. He was a very humble person with down to earth attitude. His specialty was that in spite of being a world class scientist, he treated every individual with respect. We all loved him a lot. We are hearing that there is a strong possibility that he might come back here and we look forward to see him here.’

Ramlal said, ‘I hear that as of now, there is no consensus among the political parties about who should become the next president. While they decide, do you have any preferences, based on the knowledge you have about them due to your interaction with them in various functions or gatherings in Rashtrapati Bhavan? One of the names being proposed is Pranab Mukharjee. What is your opinion about him?

Shamlal said, ‘No, no. I would not prefer him, because we don’t really understand his language. One of our staff, Bankat had worked with him earlier and he used to tell us some incidents. Once Pranab Mukharjee asked ‘Bheeks Bhaporab’ and Bankat was confused. Only by seeing him sneeze he realized what he needed. On another occasion, he asked ‘Bhej fry’ and Bankat gave him the CD of movie ‘Bheja Fry’. Later he realized that he wanted a vegetable dish.’

Ramlal was amused. He said, ‘Ok, what about Manmohan Singh?’

Shamlal said, ‘No, no. That would be a big problem, as our staff is not trained in understanding the language of deaf and dumb people. We heard that he generally does not speak. He opens his mouth only while eating or yawning. Once a dentist had tough time with him, because he complained about a toothache and would not open his mouth. Also, it is a risk because we heard that he keeps sitting in one position without as much as blinking for hours together like the crocodiles in zoo. So, we would not know whether he is sleeping with his eyes open.’

Ramlal said, ‘Ok, what about Hamid Ansari? He is the current Vice President and should be most eligible among all?’

Shamlal said, ‘Oh no. We heard that he has the habit of stopping all half completed works at sharp 12 midnight, however important they might be. There was an important discussion going on in Lok sabha about the Jan Lokpal bill and he abruptly adjourned the house at 12 midnight without any result. He knew very well that that was the last day of parliament in that session and the inconclusive discussion would mean that the momentum is lost. Yet he acted in that weird way.’

Ramlal thought for a while and said, ‘Does it really matter who becomes president? Anyway he has not much to do, right?’

Shamlal said, ‘No Ramlal, we need a president as per our constitution. A presidential election is an opportunity to test the political equations without holding an election where a common man votes. A president is used to ratify the controversial yet convenient decisions taken by the ruling party. But jokes apart, actually a president has many powers but the occupant does not use them. For that matter, do you know that the heads of three armed forces, Army, Navy and Air Force cannot meet without the presence of the President?’

Ramlal and Shamlal hoped that someday a wise man will occupy the position who will eventually rise above the petty political considerations and justify the powers of position.

The 5 after effects of KKR Win…!

The 7 week extravaganza called IPL ended on a high note with KKR clinching a nail biter against CSK. These days, it is rare to see the final matches getting such close finishes. It was a well deserved win for KKR who displayed a consistent good performance throughout the tournament.

However, here are 5 major after effects of this KKR victory to claim the IPL 5 title.

Dhoni’s luck factor… gone?

Dhoni was looking relieved after losing the match because at least people will not say that the match was fixed. Some TV channels were repeatedly pointing out the goof ups done by the IPL website and Vodafone in announcing that the final match would be between KKR and CSK, even while the qualifier matches were in progress. So, in a way, Dhoni was happy that CSK did not win the final, so that people would believe that the matches won by them in the preliminary rounds were purely on their potential and not due to any fixing.

Even otherwise, CSK was going somewhat the Australian way, displaying arrogance and over confidence in their matches. So, they needed to be grounded for a while. The celebrations by Murali Vijay after hitting a century in the qualifier match had lot of arrogance in it. The short steps of dance performed by Vijay and Bravo after every catch near boundary line, has a tinge of self praise in it. The supporters of Deccan Chargers were also relieved at the loss of CSK, as the non-supporters of CSK all over the world were blaming them for allowing CSK to enter the playoffs stage.

So, is Dhoni’s trademark luck factor waning…?

SRK apology – perfect timing

SRK got an excellent opportunity to tender a public apology for his misbehavior in the Wankhede stadium just one week back. Indians are a sentimental lot and their hearts melt faster than butter when someone apologizes. So, it was a just right occasion for SRK to increase his ‘divinity’ quotient by apologizing at the moment of success and look even holier in the eyes of his fans. He was sure that the number of eye balls which watched his histrionics throughout the tournament was far higher than those which watched him in Ra One and Don 2 throughout the world. And he made excellent use of it.

Mamta Banarjee’s gimmicks

Mamta Banarjee was desperately searching for an occasion to whip the positive passions of Bengali people after her miscalculated goof ups like walking out of an interview with students, arresting people who made her cartoons, calling every non supporter of her party a Maoist etc. While she has still not exactly realized the mistakes which she is making, nor has shown any intentions of correcting her behavior, this IPL victory provided her a perfect platform to show herself in a positive light in public. So, she organized a big rally across the streets of Kolkata culminating in Eden Gardens for a big celebration. There were historic crowds witnessing these celebrations.

However, this may set a dangerous trend in political circles of outdoing one another at every such victory for the fear of being called ‘not caring for state’ by the people.  For example, there were no such celebrations in Jaipur or Hyderabad or Chennai when these teams won the IPL earlier.

Saurav Ganguly – the lone prince.

It is difficult to guess what must have been going on in Saurav Ganguly’s mind on that day. This definitely would have been one of the darkest days in his life. His heart must have cried at the sight of his fans thronging to felicitate the IPL team but did not miss him. For the last several years, the identity of Dada and Kolkata were inseparable in Cricket parlance. Today, his fans had conveniently forgotten him and were not hesitating to praise a bunch of outsiders just because they represented the Kolkata team. Where has the ‘Bengali pride’ eloped?

If Eden Garden had any feelings or emotions, it would have also cried for Saurav Ganguly who brought alive several thrilling cricketing moments in that ground making people go crazy. This ground was his passion, his karma bhoomi and witnessed some great cricketing moments. However, on this day, amidst the fully packed stadium and big extravaganza of celebrations, the soul of Eden Garden must be desperately searching for Saurav Ganguly, the true prince of Kolkata…!

Gambhir in a Tooth Paste Advt..?

It was understandable that Gambhir did not smile during the match till the winning shot was hit for four. The agony and ecstasy of a captain in such moments can only be imagined. It is a matter of so close … yet so far…! But what stopped him from smiling thereafter? There was SRK going berserk in the stands, the teammates were jumping and dancing in pure joy, but Gambhir was literally ‘Gambhir’. This was a highly restrained expression of joy for a captain who has bravely lead his side to victory in the most competitive format of this game today.

On a lighter note, the tooth paste companies will be now vying with one another to sign up Gautam Gambhir to sign up as model with a tag line that ‘Our toothpaste can do what even a IPL victory cannot do – smile’.