Ramlal in Rashtrapati Bhavan...!

Ramlal heard that presidential elections were happening soon and that the names of various people were being projected for becoming the next president of India. He wondered who was the current president, as he never heard anything about the existing president. Later on he learnt that it was an old lady, who travelled extensively to different countries with her relatives and friends during last 5 years.

He was curious to know what the president did in his office, as he was under the impression that they don’t have much work to do. He remembered that one of his old friends, Shamlal was working as the supervisor of all staff in Rashtrapati Bhavan. He went to meet him.

As he had informed in advance about his visit, he was not stopped at the gate. As soon as he entered the premises, Ramlal thought that it was a big museum or something, seeing the big structure built in an old fashioned way.

He met Shamlal in his office. They exchanged pleasantries as they were meeting after a long time.

Ramlal asked, ‘Shamlal, I heard that the term of current president is expiring soon. So, how do you feel? Do you miss her much?’

Shamlal said, ‘See Ramlal, frankly speaking we do not miss her much, because we were not used to serving her much. She was most of the time travelling abroad you know, with all her family and friends. Yes, all our staff now recognizes her 73 relatives and 138 family friends who used to travel with her.’

Ramlal said, ‘Oh I see. I also heard that there used to be an old gentleman before her…’

Shamlal said, ‘Yes, he was probably the only gentleman in true sense to have lived here. He was a very humble person with down to earth attitude. His specialty was that in spite of being a world class scientist, he treated every individual with respect. We all loved him a lot. We are hearing that there is a strong possibility that he might come back here and we look forward to see him here.’

Ramlal said, ‘I hear that as of now, there is no consensus among the political parties about who should become the next president. While they decide, do you have any preferences, based on the knowledge you have about them due to your interaction with them in various functions or gatherings in Rashtrapati Bhavan? One of the names being proposed is Pranab Mukharjee. What is your opinion about him?

Shamlal said, ‘No, no. I would not prefer him, because we don’t really understand his language. One of our staff, Bankat had worked with him earlier and he used to tell us some incidents. Once Pranab Mukharjee asked ‘Bheeks Bhaporab’ and Bankat was confused. Only by seeing him sneeze he realized what he needed. On another occasion, he asked ‘Bhej fry’ and Bankat gave him the CD of movie ‘Bheja Fry’. Later he realized that he wanted a vegetable dish.’

Ramlal was amused. He said, ‘Ok, what about Manmohan Singh?’

Shamlal said, ‘No, no. That would be a big problem, as our staff is not trained in understanding the language of deaf and dumb people. We heard that he generally does not speak. He opens his mouth only while eating or yawning. Once a dentist had tough time with him, because he complained about a toothache and would not open his mouth. Also, it is a risk because we heard that he keeps sitting in one position without as much as blinking for hours together like the crocodiles in zoo. So, we would not know whether he is sleeping with his eyes open.’

Ramlal said, ‘Ok, what about Hamid Ansari? He is the current Vice President and should be most eligible among all?’

Shamlal said, ‘Oh no. We heard that he has the habit of stopping all half completed works at sharp 12 midnight, however important they might be. There was an important discussion going on in Lok sabha about the Jan Lokpal bill and he abruptly adjourned the house at 12 midnight without any result. He knew very well that that was the last day of parliament in that session and the inconclusive discussion would mean that the momentum is lost. Yet he acted in that weird way.’

Ramlal thought for a while and said, ‘Does it really matter who becomes president? Anyway he has not much to do, right?’

Shamlal said, ‘No Ramlal, we need a president as per our constitution. A presidential election is an opportunity to test the political equations without holding an election where a common man votes. A president is used to ratify the controversial yet convenient decisions taken by the ruling party. But jokes apart, actually a president has many powers but the occupant does not use them. For that matter, do you know that the heads of three armed forces, Army, Navy and Air Force cannot meet without the presence of the President?’

Ramlal and Shamlal hoped that someday a wise man will occupy the position who will eventually rise above the petty political considerations and justify the powers of position.